Oh My Rockness Email Introductions

When we're not listing the last free shows of the summer, or telling you about just announced shows, or our recommended shows this week like Built to Spill, Sonic Youth, Boys Noize, Shellac, Les Savy Fav, and Active Child, or entering songs into our Radio Player, or doing our sweet Tweet Thang, we find we have quite a bit of time on our hands (and LOTS of Cheetos dust on our fingers). And during these times, we often think about the absurdity of shoelaces.

Have you thought about the absurdity of shoelaces in awhile? No? Look down at your shoes. Look at those long laces that are threaded through all of those tiny little holes; these laces and holes that looked the same in 1885. Look how you have to tie this glorified string into these weird loops just so that your shoes stay on. Like it’s 1885. (Oh... and btw, yes we do double loop our laces. That means we’re nerds, right? Because we tie our shoelaces twice? Whatever. Don’t judge us. "We’re here! We do the double bunny ear!")

But come on now, shoelaces. It’s 2010 and we’re doing this antiquated ritual just to put our stupid sneaks on? In this day and age, you should just be able to look down at your shoes and say, "ZAP IT!" and boom, shoes tied.

Actually, saying "ZAP IT!" should work for a lot of things. Band taking too long to soundcheck? "ZAP IT!" and voila, set starts. Big fluffy, poofy hair guy/girl directly in front of you at a show? "ZAP IT" and shazam, fluffy gets buzzed (remember: using "ZAP IT!" comes with great power and responsibility). Intro for an Oh My Rockness email going on too long? Say "ZAP IT!" and-----------------